’Twas the time before Christmas and folks on the
Were crowding the aisles…and clipping their
They were sitting in stairwells, and propping
On overhead railings…(uncaring galoots!)
Conductors were thwacking their punches on
Waking the dozers with noise that appalls.
A lawyer was spreading his briefs on three
A Walkman was clicking non-musical treats.
Three women gaggled, two gentlemen brayed,
A self-centered person said his/her nerves were
A typical rush hour retreat from the city;
(“Those wet boots are dripping, my hair’s
But we’ll be home quickly, they all know that’s
Commuting’s a bother – but they do get you
The on-time performance is okay, I guess;
And this sure beats driving – the highway’s a
But the express train is slowing! We shouldn’t
“What’s wrong on the railroad?” they queried in
They all checked their watches. “We’ll be two
“I’m very important! Don’t stop! I can’t wait!”
The loudspeaker crackled, all ears went
The engineer spoke, his voice catching a hitch.
“Forgive the delay, folks,” (He sounded
“There’s something out there that just isn’t
“There’s a man on the tracks in my headlight
“He’s got a big belly, and his suit is all red.”
On the railroad, of course, all-red means you
The express did just that. The schedule was
“We’re close to him now,” word crackled on back.
“He’s waving his arms, he’s lugging a sack.”
“And blocking Track One is a bell-bedecked
We’ll just have to stop – we regret the delay.”
The passengers grumbled. This must be a stunt.
“It’s those newsletter people!” said one with a
I know what they’ve done,” said another, in
“They just had to ll this @%#&@$ last page!”